What to do when a spouse and won’t talk

In the last article, I shared on reasons why God hates divorce. It is a very devastating element in our legal system that only destroys what is supposed to be a sacred union of two people becoming one. The primary cause of divorce is primary cause is sin left unaddressed and unrepented which is never a good sign. We should do whatever it takes to work through issues, both parties recognizing their own failures and turning to God for healing.

However with divorce usually comes a separation. In some cases, one spouse will refuse to talk to the other. You may be blocked from contacting them, calls or text could be screened and ignored, or in some cases, it could be a legal issue that prevents communication between parties.

As Christians, we are called to love our spouse unconditionally. Never are we to block off communication with another. I believe this shows an unloving heart with a lack of interest in healing the marriage and overcoming our own sinfulness. This has been something I too have been guilty of doing in the past.

In my last article, I explained how Christians are never to divorce another. Instead, we are to work out our conflict, admit our sins to each other. Marriage is a sacred union of two flesh becoming one, it is two sinners showing endless forgiveness and endless reconciliation. The same love Christ has shown us. Despite our shortcomings, He never stops being there for us.

Despite what marriage is supposed to be in a Christian marriage, we still are fallible humans and stumble into sin. When one spouse does leave and chooses not to talk it can be devastating. It leaves us feeling hurt, broken, and sometimes we may think that the person never did truly love us unconditionally.

What do we do when our spouse will not speak to us?

We can not force anyone to remain in a marriage they don’t want, but this doesn’t mean we should stop caring. In fact, we should care even more! The parable of the lost sheep in Matthew 18 speaks of someone who leaves the church for sinful life. In this parable the shepherd doesnt stay with the remaining 99 sheep thinking “its okay, i still have these sheep” No, he goes after the single lost sheep in an determine effort to save it from the wolves. This should be our approach in marriage, to go to the ends of the earth to save and preserve what we lost.

There are of course limitations. If the spouse who left the marriage is not speaking to you, you can still pray for them.

Phillipians 4:6 tells us “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God”

What Paul shares here is to let us know that there are things that are out of our control. We can’t control how others act, but how we respond. Continue to pray for your spouse. Pray that the Lord will heal their heart. Pray that the Lord will heal your marriage. Remain faithful and live your life as if you are still married. Until you receive legel documents ending everything, there is still hope that forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration in your marriage can happen. Keep that ring on!

Above all. Remain faithful to the Lord, love Him with all of your heart. Romans 8:28 says “All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28″.

You as a believer keep praying and know that regardless of how things go, it is ultimately for your good. If the abandoning spouse returns. You can expect healing and a great testimony to your witness as a Christian couple. If they choose to leave altogether, while this does show they are an unbeliever for not taking the covenant oath of marriage seriously, trust that the Lord has something better in mind and He will take care of you.

Pray about everything, worry about nothing.

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